Hear Me

I held a metaphoric gun to his head
Loaded with bullets of truth
My finger on the trigger and itching to squeeze...
He looked me in the eye...
I looked back... back without blinking
He said "please" spare me..
My hand steady and my words spoken clearly...
I said to him...
You're going to hear me...
He "begged" me...
"Please don't hurt me"...
My anger grew intensely.
What about the plea of Tray saying "Stop following me."
Mike saying "I don't have a gun."
Eric claiming he "can't breathe."
Oscar unarmed, screaming "you shot me."
Did you listen to their cries of mercy?
You're going to hear me...
We scream no justice no peace
We march
we organize
And yet still we die by those sworn to protect us
But their just another set of the Klu Klux Klan with badges in hand...
We're tired...
We're tired of these drawn out trials and these officers still not being fired...
Tired of the parents burying their sons and daughters due to police slaughter....
You're going to hear me...
I...
No.
We stand not for just the few, but the many..
For the weak and weary
For the deaf and the blind
For the misunderstood because of their mental minds
We stand because of our skin
Because it's our right
Because it's our blessing and yet your burden
Because we are God's creation, not his abomination...
Because we deserve to LIVE...
I pulled the trigger to the gun of truth
And let the bullets rip through the flesh of ignorance...
Penetrate through his skull of naiveness
And puncture his emotions...
Then I left his body brittle...
I left his mind numb...
I metaphorically held a gun to his head
I shot my truth
Now I'm on the run from Amerikkka...
But at least I know he heard me...
Lady R © 2015

Escape

Dedicated to Domestic Violence Month

Escape

You came into my life when I had nothing...
When I thought I was nothing...
When the nothingness consumed me...
You told me I was one of the most beautiful creatures you've ever seen...
When I was down...
You became my foundation...
My strength..
My backbone...
And although you did a lot of things I didn't condone...
But I want you anyway....
I remember the days where your good outweighed my bad...
Just seeing you..
Made my heart glad..
Made my soul smile...
And made my spirit fly...
I decided to put up with all the lies...
Because I thought...
Well I thought you would change
If I changed some of my "nagging" ways...
You didn't though...
But I want you anyway...
I saw the change in you...
Not for the better, but for the worse...
The first time you raised your hand to me
And left a hand print on my face..
Moments later you apologized...
Said it wouldn't happen again..
I believed you...
Maybe you were just having a bad day?
So I stayed...
Because I want you anyway...
No amount of make-up can cover these bruises..
No amount of soaking in a tub can ease this pain...
I'm not just physically broken...
My body is damaged...
My soul is dying...
My spirit is crying...
With every broken promise of you'd never hit me again...
I want to reach out...
But I can't...
You came into my life when I had nothing...
Beat me like I was nothing...
Until one day..
I became nothing...
It was too late for me to escape...

Lady R © 2015

Drifting on a Memory

Drifting On A Memory
Drifting on a memory...
Cloud nine is where I use to be
Singing songs to the melody that plays
Quietly in my head..
The words of "Let me love you"
Being whispered softly in my ear
Telling me I have nothing to fear
To let my guard down so that ou can surround me
With the attention you say I deserve...
Drifting on a memory
Cloud nine is where I use to be
Getting cards and flowers for no reason
Good morning texts
Afternoon "I miss you" messages
Ending the day with night cap activities
Hugs and kisses
Nibbles and licks
With a splash of sensualty
Made it all real for me...
Drifting on a memory
Cloud nine is where I use to be
Until one day devastation hit me
You said you no longer had love me
Watching my number on your caller ID
As you ignored the calls from me.
Took my heart and tied it to a tree
Beating all the feelings out of me..
Then leaving it dangling
Until I'm able to rescue it from further mangling...
Drifting on a memory..
Cloud nine is where I use to
Trying to mend the many parts of me
Not only physcially but mentally and emotionally
Those sunny skies for a while were just
Gray for me..
Those happy tunes
Fell on deaf ears
And I felt nothing but animosity
Something like hatred for something that
You stole away from me
A piece of mind...
Drifting on a memory..
Cloud nine is where I use to be
Devoting all of me
To somone who only gave half of he
Not realizing it
Blinded by what I was feeling
Instead of what my eyes were seeing
My ears were hearing
I became a victim of my feelings
Eventually healing and surfacing back to
The me I use to be..
One quiet nights when my mind is idle
I slip back into that past we had
I smile because without it I wouldn't be
The stronger woman you helped me to be
Heart break will do that...
As I put my headphones on
And listen to this song..
Drifting on a memory..
Lady R © 2014

Whispers

Whispers

The quietness of the night
With my eyes shut tight..
I can hear you whisper in my ear
With the evening breeze creeping through the curtains
And the shades draping around me as though it were
Your arms..
I can feel your touch...
While the only sound in the house comes from the ticks
Of the clock on the wall..
I swear I can hear your foot steps..
Though I am fast asleep, in my mind I can sense your presence.
I can feel your breath breathing down on me
The soft kiss leave upon my cheek
The gentle embrace you give me..
I can hear your laughter fill the room
The cooking aroma only left by you...
The rain out side..
The tears I cannot hide as I bury my face in my pillow
And drift back to sleep..
Those whispers in my ear...
Those words I'll always hear
Of not to worry, well meet again some day..
Those whispers in my ear..
Those words I'll always hear..
I love you...

Lady R © 2014

Beautiful

Beautiful
When he met me...
He called me by a name I had never heard before
At least not in relation to me..
Beautiful
He told me that my chocolate skin was flawless
And that it should be against the law that I looked so good
He said that naturalness of my hair gave me a certain flare
That he was drawn to
He said that I was beautiful..
The freshness of this relationship had me swept off my feet
When I would lay my head on his chest it was as if our heart beats
Were in sync..
And before I closed my eyes that night
He would whisper to me..
Good night beautiful before I drifted off to sleep..
He would pull me close to him
Run his fingers through my hair
Gently stroke my skin with his finger
And when I asked what he was doing
He said..
I'm tracing the word beauty...
Beautiful is what he called me..
I can't tell when it started happening,  but it was suddenly, I could tell that the love for me was fading
No more whispers in my ear
No more traces on my skin
The only time he held me is before he shook me violently
With his hand around my neck and spit in my face as yelled at me
Cursed me..
Disgraced me
Shamed me..
He started calling me tar-baby
Saying the blackness of my skin was ugly..
My hair nappy and unmanageable..
And my confidence..
Began to crumble..
See I'm humble..
I never perceived be more than what I am
A woman..
A black woman..
Beautiful..
Bruises marked my delicate skin
Words left violent stains on my brain
And the physical.. so much to endure
Constant nights of arguing
Door slamming
Unanswered calls and texts
And nights spent sleeping alone..
Cold shoulders
Blank, loveless stares
And violent explosions
The harsh words of you don't love
And that I'm ugly
And not one else is going to want me
Dance around in my head
Force fed
Like I was being held down
Tied down
Captive
With no way to escape...
Instead of calling me beautiful
He continued to belittle and betray
So when I looked at my image in the mirror
All I saw was a distorted version of what I use to be
A mangled flesh portrait
Unrecognizable bag of bones
Disgusting..
UGLY..
Me..
I would hold my head down in shame..
Answer to those unmentionable names he would call me
And yet yearn for the love he once showed me
For those arms he once used to console me
Hold me
Those hands he once used to caress my skin
My beautiful skin...
For those fingers he use to trace beauty on me
And now he just used them
As a weapon
Objects of mass destruction
And leaves me beating and broken
As I sit here after our latest violent dance
Head hung so low
Soul crushed
Weakened body
And broken hearted..
Why do I stay?
Why can't I just walk away?
In the back of my mind
I'm hoping..
I'm wishing
I'm praying that he will call me
Beautiful once again..
Lady R © 2014.

U.G.L.Y

U.G.L.Y
U.g.l.y you ain't got no alibi you ugly yea, yea you ugly..
Childhood nursery rhyme said to her so many times
Chanted in her face as she tried with everything not to
Let them see her  weak..
To see a tear run down her cheeks..
So she sat quietly, as they continued to torment her
As the words played over and over in her head..
Then the bell rang and recess was over..
But the day seemed to drag on
And the mean children decided to keep on picking on
Poking at the quiet child in the class
And she took it...
U.g.l.y you ain't got no alibi you ugly yea, yea you ugly
Angry words burst from the mouth of the one you thought
Would always love you
Shelter you
And keep you from harm
But in drunken or toxic induced stupors they forget who you are
And the truth comes out
The feelings they always been feeling
The resent of you breathing
The blame of having to share their last name
With you...
And the fact that when they look at you..
They see them..
The them that left and didn't come back
It's your fault because you're so ugly..
U.g.l.y you ain't go no alibi you ugly yea, yea you ugly
Just to fit in you did things you said you wouldn't
Smoked a little
Drank a little
Even gave it up easy to the first guy that paid you attention
The first time he said you was pretty
Only took a week for him to get the kitty
And then he slanders you name...
Ignores your calls and texts
Leaves dirty viral messages about you..
But seven days ago..
You were his "pretty" boo..
Now look at what he's doing to you...
U.g.l.y you ain't got no alibi you ugly yea, yea you ugly
Tap the needle to get the venom circulating
Tie the rope around your arm to get the pulse
Pulsating
Insert the poison into your blood stream
Just so you can forget everything..
Let the painful events of the night vanish
Just like that man did after he left a couple dollars on the floor
And quickly left through the door
It means nothing..
Even though you try to suppress the dealings
You're overwhelmed by a depressed feeling..
So much you've gone through
No one to talk to..
To listen to you..
So you turn to the only thing you know how to do..
U.g.l.y please lord just let me die
She cried...
"I'm ugly"

Lady R © 2014

I Can't Breathe

I Can't Breathe...
My airways are constricted..
My thoughts conflicted
Yes's turn to no's and my no's to yes's
As I pace back and forth leaving a groove in the floor
I hear foot steps approaching the door
And I freeze...
I can't breathe..
The anger building up inside me.
My colorful sense is focused on one color alone
Red..
Crimson red..
The same crimson red that stained my clothes
As I held them close and felt them take their last breathe
With their last rise and fall of their chest
My heart stopped beating and for a moment I went with them
I can't breathe..
I can't conceive anything around me..
I can't hear..
My screams feel like I'm in a silent movie
Words captioned on the bottom of a T.V screen
Ignored, because to you they mean nothing..
Everything's in slow motion as the authorities tear your body away from me..
I'm numb..
I can't feel anything
I'm gasping for air..
I can't breathe..
I'm heartbroken as I watch a piece of me being wheeled away..
Vowed for revenge on the same day..
Restless nights
Relentless thoughts
And reality setting in...
Hiccupping as my eyes are streaming blinding tears
A tightness in my throat
An increase in my heartbeat
When I realized those same foot steps are getting closer to me..
Clutched in one hand his picture..
The other..
A shiny piece of steel that could steal your remaining years of living..
No remorse
I'm not sorry..
At this point only GOD can judge me
As I raise my weaponry
I can't breathe
You're face to face to me
I can't breathe
Staring down this barrel
I can't breathe
You lunge at me!
I squeeze the trigger!
You can't breathe...
And I'm finally exhaling...
Lady R © 2014

My Coin Flipper

15/31(3)
My Coin Flipper

The rain came down in trenches
Drenches not only his clothing
But the thoughts within
He watches me closely I can see him as he
Flips his coin in the air.
His empty eyes
His blank stares
Those glares..
Send chills down my skin
He follows me..
Watching me as I try and stray away
But it's like a scene from a movie
No matter how fast I run he's right behind me
Flipping his coin in the air
Every corner..
He's there
Every shelter
He's there..
Just flipping that coin in the air
I remember..
I was faced with a situation
And as soon as I was about to make my decision
A change came over me when I seen him watching
In the rain..
Flipping his coin in the air
His stare got to me
I could feel him watching me...
From a distance
I'll tell you about another instance
True it was probably going to be another bad decision
And as soon as I was standing right in front of it.
Like it was literally right there
In reach
Just in my grasp
And I felt his eyes burning a whole in my soul
Whatever, I was going to do left me just as quickly as it entered
I turned to see him
Flipping that coin in the air
That evening..
I went home
Removed my clothing..
And rinsed what I felt was the filth from the day..
As I did, I felt a burden being lifted
Like a new life had been given
And yes it was still raining.
After my shower I turned on the television
And the images before my eyes brought tears to my eyes
Those situation I was trying to place myself in
The people involved in it met an untimely demise
One person shot
Another one stabbed
And a car accident with no survivors
How I'm thankful
That his stares steered me home and out of the line of fire..
That night I went to bed..
And as I laid down my head..
I looked out the once more
To see that man
With wings expanded..
Flipping that coin in the air.

Lady R © 2013

These Thighs

These Thighs

I was told that I should apologize for these thighs. These chocolate covered, thick and fluffy thighs. These tattooed and enticing, make jeans look like they are painted on thighs. These thighs that jiggle just a little when I walk.

I was told that I should apologize for these eyes. These eyes that have stories that are untold. These eyes that if you stare long enough they can peer into your soul. These eyes that twinkle in the sun or the moonlight.

I was told that I should apologize for these lips and smile that can turn the worst day around. These lips and smile that can have a man travel for miles just to be in my presence. These lips that speak the truth and this smile that can hypnotize.

I was told that I should apologize for this mind. The one I use to make my own decisions. The one that enables me to be my own person and to use assertion to get my points across.

Why should I have to apologize for being the creation that God made me? Who said that everyone had to the same? So what if I’m not 5’10 weighing 110. I’m embracing my 5’4 and my and my juiciness galore. I implore thee to be who are made to be and not conform into what society deems you should be.

I will not apologize for the skin I’m in.

I will not apologize for these eyes.

I will not apologize for these lips and smile.

I will not apologize for this mind.

I will not apologize for these thighs.

Lady R © 2012

I Am This

I Am This

People seem to take me as a joke when I’m writing, but I get the last laugh when I’m chuckling on my way to bank from what the bleeding of my ink did. How candid can you be when you see me on the streets talking about “hey baby, I missed you.” And I’m like “Oh nigga now you know me?” Weren’t you the same one who told me that I wasn’t going to get anywhere because I didn’t have it lyrically? Well, I got news for you I got this shit poetically. It may not be to a beat that you can hear, but it flows to the beat of my heart and from the start I felt this. When I picked up the pen I melted into this, and sexed the words until I gave birth to this.

Let me break it down some more since I can tell in by the look in your face that you can’t understand what I’m going for. See these words aren’t just words that I am speaking. I cook this; I eat this, and then shit out something amazing. Smelling like tulips because roses are overrated and that last line you read again because it left you faded.

I do this because I am this. I was born with a pen in my hand and gifted with poetic expression from the lyrical Gods. I pour my blood, tears, and sweat into this. I build my mental to this. I strengthen my physical to this, and I let my spirit run all through this.

It’s funny how you didn’t believe in this and was so quick to dismiss my ability to handle this, but when you see me on your TV screen and hear my on your radio you’ll finally realize how I can control this dactylic flow, leaving your jaw dropped to the floor and you trying to kiss my ass as I sashay pass and once I’m at a distance I turn to you to blow you a kiss and leave you with the message; I do this, I’m true to this; this poetic lifestyle I AM THIS.

Lady R © 2012