Revolutionary Cheating

As I look into his eyes while he lies between my thighs
And his thrust match the rhythm of the blood pumping
Through my veins..
I want to call out his name
And as I fix my lips to utter the words
Nothing comes out but gasp of pleasure
As he goes deep in my treasure.

This is so wrong

The night presses forward and the positions have switched
Me on top slowing taking a ride like I'm on a roller coaster
Reaching the peak before I drop and he hits that spot
While I reach out to grab on anything in my reach
Clutching the headboard as it's squeaking
Repeatedly banging against the wall.

This isn't right.

At this moment nothing really matters
As you flip me once again and the back strokes
Begin. In the midst of mid-pounding
Sensual shrills you have me sounding off
Like an sexual alarm going off
Then you ask that question "Who's is it?"
So while you up in it, I reply "It's yours".

This is so wrong

Sheets being ripped from the mattress
Pillow trying to muffle the sounds of delight
As I hit my second climax of the night
Your body tensing up even more
As you pull my hair and make me arch my back
As we make the provocative beat when our thighs meet.
And you yelling out. "Damn, I'm cumming"

This isn't right.

Body jerking
Sweat pouring
Finally collapsing from exhaustion...
Laying in silence while in the process of catching our breath.
Reality sets back in
Looking at you like... damn what I just do.

This is so wrong.

A sinister smile creeps across my face
I get dressed in a hurry, eager to get back to my place
Leaving you with the dumb look on your face.
It's nothing personal.
You served you're purpose of being my arsenal.
Besides I have a him to get home to

This isn't right.

Phone chimes as I walk through the door.
It's you asking me the reasons I left so quickly
You wanted to spend some time with me.
So I had to let you know, before you started
To catch feelings, that you were just a pawn
In this revolutionary cheating...

Lady R © 2013

Unloved

I came to you once and you ignored me
I asked for advice and you scolded me
I told you I needed you and you laughed in my face
How long do I have to embrace this feeling of hatred seething
From the look in your eyes.
The curl in you lip.

Your stare is titillating, burning fire into my soul
Yet leaving my body numb and cold.
Some days it's like you want me around
To joke and laugh, but only at my expense
So I tip toe around you...I ride the fence.

I've been emotionally abused by you...
In the sense you never showed me any
I tried to gain you attention
But never did you mention
Or acknowledge me...
My out cries are still left unheard

How can I forget this pain?
This unknown shame that I caused
That's the only thing it has to be
Because you never uttered the four letter word
Starting in L and ending in E...
Every morning I wait hoping for a change, at the end of the day it's left the same

I would glance at you every once in a while, to only be welcomed
by a frown, a look of disgust
an assortment of words, mostly were cursed.
All I ever wanted was a hug
Instead I was pushed
Maybe just a kiss? No that would have been too much.

How can I forget this pain?
This unknown shame that I caused
That's the only thing it has to be
Because you never uttered the four letter word
Starting in L and ending in E...
Every morning I wait hoping for a change, at the end of the day it's left the same

Exhausted to the point where I don't want to wake up
Hurting so much I can't deal anymore
Done begging
Finished crying
At the end of my rope with trying..
One last effort..

Again destroyed
Emptiness in my heart
Is growing a bigger void..
And no one to talk to...

Who needs enemies...

With Family like you..

Lady R © 2013

His Arms

I use to think about him.
The way he smiled
His scent
His arms wrapped around me

I use to want to feel him.
His chest against my breast
His lips upon my neck
His arms wrapped around me.

How I miss his sweetest of kisses
The days he'd call me lil misses.
His warmth and his tenderness.
Of his arms wrapped around me

There is no need to lie
Or reason to deny.
My heart wrapped in an emotional bind.

Because I miss the simplisticness
Of his arms wrapped around me.

Lady R 2013

Thinking of Me

He said he was thinking about me.
I drifting into his thought as he laid
there lonely.

He said he was thinking of me
He missed the way I would lay my head on his chest
And how he would caress my ass throughout the night

He said he was thinking of me
When a song came on the radio and an instant
Smile spread across his face.

He said he was thinking of me
Everything he did, and places that he went
Visions of me appeared and disappeared instantly.

He said he was thinking of me
When he went out to the club last night
He said he was thinking me while he took
shot after shot

He said he was thinking of me
As the night ended and his car drifted...

The last thing he sent to me
Before he lost control...
Was he was thinking of me....

Lady R © 2013

Verbal Imprisonment

I stood staring at my blank canvas
Weapon in hand
Awaiting for the words to flow
For my ink to bleed
For a new life breathe
For my creation to form.
It's like giving birth to a thousand babies
At once...

It hurts...

But as it progresses and grows in front of me
I run out of room on this once bare wall
So I turn to my right and continue to write
The words ooze from me steadily like crimson red
leaks from an open wound
The alphabet consuming me
Words hitting like a tornado in Oklahoma
Damaging and destroying everything around me

It hurts...

Word after word
phrase after phrase
Sentence after sentence
Try to break free from this verbal imprisonment
Running out of room yet again, so I turn
To my right and continue to write
Angrily attacking another empty slate
To help vacate my memories

It hurts...

They're closing in so swiftly
These four walls around me
I'm out of room again! So I turn
To my right and being to write
Pouring out every discussion
As I have this conversation with the
Only one who understands me..
Me...

It hurts...

I can't breathe, every stroke I make
I bring into being new life to the living
Pushing out
A lingual being...
I'm running out of room
So I drop to my knees and continue
Scribing because its the only sense
I have of surviving

It hurts...

I've run out of room again!
I look up to the ceiling from where
I am kneeling and realize no matter how
Far my arms stretch up to reach
While my ink seeps
I'll never be able to escape..
These words now taunting me..
Haunting me...

I'll never be free from this cube
This Verbal Imprisonment.

Lady R © 2013

My Everything

I loved him with all of me. He was my heart and soul. He was my everything. We laughed, I cried. We fought and each time a little piece of me died. We made up, but my heart was still broken because some words and apologies were left unspoken. Each time I got tired and tried to leave, I couldn’t escape the tangled love we weaved.

I loved him with all of me. He was my heart and soul. He was my everything.  I’ve dealt with a lot of bullshit from this man and yet and still I came back again. It was my mind that was telling me to just suck the shit up and leave, but my heart wouldn’t let me and the thought of if sometimes made my soul bleed. So I stayed to try and make it work, but I can’t even express how much that hurt.

I loved him with all of me. He was my heart and soul. He was my everything. So today I realized that this man really wasn’t for me. I tried everything to make my heart believe, but my mind won the battle. He was my first in a lot of things from my first love to my first heart break to the first time I thought I found my soul mate. As hard as this is going to be for me to leave it’s something that I have to do for me. So I’ll walk away with him still holding on to a piece of me with the optimistic thought that one day we will be ready…

I loved him with all of me. He was my heart and soul. He was my everything.

LadyR © 2012

Endless Prayer

So much going on in my brain
Lord help calm these thoughts
Before I go insane.
Things continue to happen, one thing after another
Struggling to survive
Trying dig myself from under
No wonder I continue to call you on.

So much going on in my brain
Lord help me calm these thoughts
Before I go insane.
Grateful to be alive
But not really living
Clocking in the 9 to 5
But I'm really graveyard shifting...Drifting...

So much going on in my brain
Lord help me calm these thoughts
Before I go insane
Wanting to play house, but no place to call home
Sitting in the darkness in a corner all alone
Streaming tears down my cheeks waiting for the sunlight
to peek...

So much going on in my brain
Lord help me calm these thoughts
Before I go insane.
I call on you to help see me through
I pray to you to help guide me on a path because I felt like I've strayed
Brick wall hit after endless dreams of falling and no landing
On bending knees pleading for you to save me.

So much going on in my brain
Lord help me calm these thoughts
Before I go insane

Lady R © 2013

My Culture

My Culture

Innocence in the rarest form. My eyes tell a story of what I find to be the norm. My culture. The paint on my face suggest my youth. My Afrocentric essence suggest my truth. I am me to say the least. Protective black queen. That is me.
Innocence in my rarest form. My eyes tell a story of what I find to be the norm. My culture.

Lady R © 2013

Annoyed

Annoyed beyond belief.. Patience being tested to their core... Dressed up and feet hurt and you're late for our date once more. I feel like I'm being taken for granted and my emotions are tired, my heart is weakened, my nerves are shot. If a screaming and yelling match is what you want, then it's what you got.

As I sit here and wait for you to enter the door hope you're ready for a battle, in the end I've already won the war. My bags are packed in the corner and the car is gassed up. Just want you to know at the end of the day... you really messed up.

Lady R © 2013