Playtime

As I played outside that day
My life as a child was devastated...
I heard a loud bang...
Felt the ground shake...
And the cracks it the concrete began to form...
I looked the once blue sky now changed to charcoal grey
The screams of the hurt echoed through the air...

As I played outside that day
Car alarms were triggered
Cries of the innocent rang out
I heard shouting from every direction
The sirens from the fire engines blared..
And the police sped down the streets to where the loud
Band was heard...

Crash...

Accidents were happening
2 and 3 car pile ups as the buildings in the distance
Came crumbling down...
Smokey filled environment
Infernos...
Small tornadoes
Gaping holes..

As I played outside that day...
Phone lines snapped in half
The power on the block flickered then the street lights
Went off..
Even though it was daytime, the atmosphere was eerie
Dark.

As I played outside that day...
And history was forming before me..
I sat down on the stoop and watched like I was in a
Slow motion movie...
Like time stood still
My playtime was over...

Lady R © 2013

So Wrong Part 1 & 2

So Wrong (Pt 1)

I was nervous as heck. I did one more check in the mirror before I walked out the door. Once I was satisfied with how my legs looked in my skinny jeans and how my shirt accentuated my chest; I glossed my lips and sprayed on my Beyonce perfume then headed out the door.

It was a beautiful day outside. The sun was shining, the leaves were blowing in the wind; it just seemed like today was going to be a great day! I hopped in my car and instantly turned my deck on to cd 3 track 4 :Pretty Girl Swag; boomed through the speakers. I rolled down the windows and headed to my destination.

It took about 15 minutes to get to the studio. I pulled up next to a 2013 Impala. "Dang what a pretty car" I thought to myself. I put my car in park, and decided to do one more check in the Impala's tented windows before I headed inside. Just as I was touching up my gloss the window started to roll down. I jumped back kinda of shocked and embarrassed at the same time.

Lady R © 2013

So Wrong (Pt 2)

The window rolled down and smoke came from inside the car, hitting me in the face. Coughing and waving the smoke off. I started to apologize, but this deep voice came from inside
"No need to try and fix perfection love" He said
I couldn't see his face, but his voice was sexy as hell. Once the smoke cleared his face finally came into view. "dang he sexy" was the first thing that came to mind. He had a thin, nicely cut, gold tee. Low cut hair, creamy looking chocolate skin, and pretty brown eyes with thick eye lashes.
I caught myself starring at him, so to play it off I smiled at him.
"Thank you." I replied.
"You're more than welcome." He said. We started a small conversation. He told me name was Tyrek Wallace and he worked in the building I was going to. I asked him what he did, but he wouldn't tell me.
Time started to slip away, and it was almost time for my interview.
"I hate to end this conversation," I stated, "but I have to get going. Maybe I'll see you around."
"It was nice talking to you too Ms. Lady. I exited the car and headed to the building.

I got to the front desk and signed in. Looking behind me I saw the young gentlemen I just had a conversation with come in and go into the employee only entrance. I waved at him and he winked at me.
As I waited for my interview, I saw a few more candidates come into the office. They were gorgeous, but I wasn't worried.

Moments later my name was called. I stood up and walked with the confidence of me already having the job would show. The area was already set up. The receptionist handed me a outfit and pointed me to the dressing room.
I changed and when I came out.. the receptionist said; "Mr. Wallace will see you now."

Lady R © 2013

Stay Beautiful

He told me stay beautiful
Don't fall into what others say I should be
Continue to stay true to who I am
Only change to better me but
Stay true to me..
My beauty is the purest that he's ever seen

He told me stay beautiful
Not just on the outside
But let it shine from within
It's my kindness and intelligence
That keeps his attention
My beauty is the purest that he's ever seen

He told me stay beautiful
The truth is in my eyes
He said my expressions tell it all
Even if I wanted to I couldn't lie
My beauty is the purest that he's ever seen

He told me I'm always beautiful..
On the days I feel so ugly
On the days things don't go right
On the days we are argue and fight
On days my confidence isn't too high
He said my beauty is the purest that he's ever seen

He said he loves me for me...
He loves my beauty
It's the purest he's ever seen..

Lady R© 2013

My Bestie

We clicked like instantly...
Two kids one quite and one feisty
She was the peanut butter to my grape jelly..
The Shaggy to my Scooby
My ace
My buddy
My Bestie

I met her in the fifth grade..
Both in uniform
Pigtails and braids
Seated next to each other by name
At least that's what I thought..

We had a lot in common
From our mama's knowing each other
Down to our favorite colors
My ace
My buddy
My bestie

When we graduated from grade school
Most people loose touch after high school..
But not us two..
No matter how long we were a part
Our friendship never withered
She's my home slice
My Ace
My buddy
My bestie!

The one female I call a sister
No blood involved
Our friendship throughout the years
Has evolved
The one I tell my secrets to and not have to worry
About a snitching issue...
My ace
My buddy
My bestie

We're like Thelma and Louise whenever we
Get together
Call her through any type of personal weathers..
My ace
My buddy
My bestie

My heart..
My sister..
My best friend even in another life I know we'd meet again!

Lady R ©2013

This Isn't Goodbye

Black and grey skies
Bone chilling winds
I hold on to him so tightly...
This isn't goodbye

Tears stream from my eyes...as I cry... arm wrapped around him and his emotionless response
This isn't goodbye

His body stiffens
His stare so blank
I can't take this feeling
This isn't goodbye

The harder I hugged him the more my vision became compromised. Our clothes saturated in crimson red.
But I can't let go..
This isn't goodbye..

As I inhaled and exhaled I felt his faint heart beat finally he put his weakened arms around me..
He whispered in my ear..

My heart aches because I know I must leave but when you look up at the stars and the biggest one twinkles that would be me. Watching and protecting you until we meet again.

He kisses my cheeks
Tell me loves me
The clouds open up above me..one last hug he gave me...

He walked toward the brightest glow I had ever seen...
He looked back at me
Smiled faintly...
Mouthed these words to me...

This isn't goodbye

Lady R (c) 2013

My Mama Told Me

My mama told me don't listen to those lil boys
They not just trying to play with my toys
At the time I didn't know what she meant
I just shook my head like I understood it

My mama told me : don't let them push you around
So when she pushed me that day I pushed her to the ground. I got in trouble of course, but I stood my ground.
So I was proud.

My mama told me : don't put all my eggs in one basket, it's cool to believe in it, but make sure I have a backup just in case those eggs start to crack and break. So I always kept a reserve.

My mama told me that love shouldn't cost a thing
Unless he wining and dining you, being a gentlemen, doing the courtship thing, but at the end of that all she better see a engagement ring... Goodness mama

My mama told me what you won't do another woman will, so make sure that man is fed, be his woman and his best friend, don't give him a reason to window shop, because with me at home I should have it on lock. Truth mama.

My mama told me what he won't do another man will. When I've given it my all, and he's given nothing but heartache and headache and time and time again promises are broken, then its time to go. I hit the door mama.

My mama gave me the best advice that she could ever give. Be a God fearing woman, and the lord will provide
Because from him you can't hide your pain or cover his eyes. He sees all and is in your corner. So I prayed mama.

My mama taught me to be all the woman that I could be.
I still go by the advice my mama gave to me.

Lady R © 2013

Wickedness

All I want to hear is the tune of your heart
Beat you of your pulse
The rhythm of the breaths you take
As I feel your chest rise and fall..

Our lips
Quiver after every kiss in anticipation of the next
Tremble...
Pulsate...
Shake...

Our hands...
Explore each others bodies
From face and cheeks
To legs and thighs
Body temperature is on the rise

Our eyes...
I can see my reflection in yours
The lustful glares you give me
Your stare is sensually devouring me
Conquering me..
Making me weak..

Our bodies...
I'm trying to fight...
Trying not to give in to this pleasurable sin
Trying not to relinquish
To admit defeat
But this wickedness is getting the best of me.

No don't...
Bit on my lip...
Kiss my neck...

I must fight it

No don't...
Pin my arms above my head...
Whisper in my ear...

No don't...
Kiss my lips
Squeeze my hips
And leave your finger prints on my skin

I can't give in...
His touch is like kryptonite
Every stroke is like lit dynamite
I'm ready to explode
With every caress I reignite.

I surrender to this flesh..
I give in to this sin...
How this pleasurable wickedness did win.

Lady R © 2013

He's Thinking

I wonder what he's thinking...
I see him looking at me
His admiration in his eyes
The gentleness in his touch
The way that he caresses me.

I wonder what he is thinking
The embrass he gives me
The texts he sends me
The joking way he plays with me..
Just so he can hear my laugh..

I wonder what he is thinking
When he kisses my forehead at night
While his fingers are locked with mine
As we walk side by side at the same pace
When he smiles at me at a glance

I wonder what he is thinking
As we lay next to each other each night
Pillow talk until the wee hours of the morning
Holds me close even when I'm snoring
Or when he moves the hair out of my face...

I wonder what he is thinking...
So I asked him
Just because I wanted to know
He told me
It's me that's he's thiniking of
That my heart fits his heart like a glove
That he smiles because I make his spirit sore
That he couldn't and wouldn't ask for anything more

Oh except for one thing..
And thenhe got down on one knee
And said this last thinking he was thinking...
Will you marry me..

Lady R © 2013

Ex Factor

I don't know why I keep letting you get to me
After all this time you should be an insigificant memory
But like a rash you pop up and keep itching me
You spread within.. causing me to have feelings that I thought I was through with
I can't fool with it. I won't go back to that sad place you drug me to me.
Had me thinking it was me when it was really you.
I'll never forget these words you said,
"I don't think I'm good for you".
That's what you told me..
For a while they played over and over in my head...
Like how could this be true, when I chose you...
For the longest I couldn't wrap my mind around it
I didn't like the sound of it
It was hard being a one after being a two so long with you...
BUT I'm over it..
It's done with
It was true
I was too good for you

Lady R © 2013

History

This place held so many memories
The type if memories I wish were history
Broken furnace so we had no heat.
Only thing to keep us warm was our bodies.
Parentless child, or should I say they were there but didn't care...

Wish these memories were history...

Worried about the next hit, or finding the money to get it.. that when I became a hot commodity. .. don't worry its not gonna hurt that long they would say to me. .

Wish these memories were history....

I would say faded pictures but there were none... anything that resembled happiness gone like a smoking gun
Didn't get to experience the meaning of fun.. my life was over before it begun

Wish these memories were history....

As I walk around the rubble of what use to be. I place a flower on the place I lost a part of me...
I wonder...
Do they remember my history. ...

Lady R © 2013

Mystery

I speak of words unspoken
A road untraveled
A picture unseen
I speak of a mystery
I look for a course uncharted
Dark houses
Pitch black roads
Expressionless face with stories untold
I search for mystery
I want to fight the good fight
But unknown where to begin
I want to be a saint instead of a sinner
But sometimes I can not win..
I feel as though I'm fighting the devil with in
I seek mystery
I utter things others are afraid to
I talk truths most don't understand
I break rules and not feel so guilty
Until I'm by myself sitting quietly
My idle mind has me thinking..
Did I start another mystery...
I'm on an endeavor to the anonymous
To travel ancient grounds
My exploration holds no bounds
As I pursue my mystery.
They say history repeats itself
Within myself a mystery unfolds
I have closets that hold rattling bones
As I slide my skeleton key inside the lock
You can hear them dance around...
Becaue the mystery within has been found...

Lady R © 2013

Silver Bells

Hark how the bells
Sweet silver bells
All seem to say..
Throw cares away...

That was me.. no one cared they threw me away
My weeps breaking the quietness of the night
Behind a dumpster I laid my head
Until someone found me..
Scooped up in arms
I thought I was safe
Instead my nightmare began
Passed around like a rag doll
Treated as a foot stool

Hark how the bells
Sweet silver bells
All seem to say
Throw cares away...

I stay awake through the night because
I'm afraid if I fall asleep my reality will haunt my dreams
And disturb my only place I use as my escape
The people that are suppose to take care of me
They don't even know my name...
Call me number 2468
And say I better appreciate what they are doing for me
But it's nothing there, no love, no warmth, no hugs...
Just silence and cold stares

Hark how the bells
Sweet silver bells
All seem to say
Throw cares away...

Prayers all I say
Lord please take me away
Deliver me from evil
Allow me to become your angel
Let the silvers bells ring
Ting-a-ling a ling
Sweet silver bells
Deliver me from my external hell...

Lady R © 2013

Christmas Never Comes

Its always cold..
No heat coming from vents
No smiles on faces
I have to close my eyes and think of warm places
No arms wrapped around me
No kisses on my cheeks
Cold days in December
Christmas never comes for me

I've cried so much that my tear ducts are swollen
I've been hungry to the point where my ribs felt like they were broken
No clothes that fit
Shoes that hurt my feet
A mattress with coils that poke me when I sleep
Cold days in December
Christmas never comes for me

Every day I wake up...
It's such a struggle
No idea what's going to happen
But prepared for the future
Only a child am I
Dealing with situations unthought of
I can only pray to the Man above...
Cold days in December
Christmas never comes for me

It's snowing...
Children are outside playing
But because I have not warm clothes
I'm on the sidelines watching
No laughter for me..
Only sickness if I deal with the winter fury
Snowflakes falling...
Everyone is singing..
Cold days in December
Christmas never comes for me...

It's December 24th...
That's Christmas Eve.. I mailed my letter to Santa Clause
Months before the season to give him plenty of time
To answer my wish...
December 25th and more snow is falling..
I wake up to silence.. my name no one is calling
Walking to the gathering room...
To see if my wish was granted..
If my present arrived..
To my disappointment, but not really a surprise..
I'm still stuck in this hole..
Because no parents have arrived..

Cold days in December
Christmas never comes for me

Lady R © 2013

No Love For Me

My face…
Stained with the tears of disappointment
The broken promises from the one I love
My eyes…
Show the hurt and exhaustion of the empty
Anticipation, because every day is something different
A different excuse you decide to use
Instead of spending time with me.
My heart…
Broken so many times, the thread used to mend it
Isn’t strong enough anymore and yet my heart becomes
Stone…
Fragile… Yes I am, because as a child I believed in you
As an impressionable youth, I call you on for guidance
Instead you turn to distance and lies
Which leaves me to cry…
Shedding these tears of no communication
Leaving me in a state of devastation
A feeling of exasperation because you choose not do
What a parent should do…
A lonely feeling…
A vacant soul
A child forced to grow alone…
No one to tell me how much they care…
Look into my eyes as the moisture blemishes my cheeks
While I try to speak to you and you ignore me…
Never have you uttered the words of “You Love Me”…
An accident I was you tell me…
Here I wasn’t supposed to be…
How you can’t stand to look at me because when you do it’s him you see…
My tears I want to cry with you…
My existence in vain
A child I am…
Your seed…
It’s your blood that flows through me…
And yet there’s no love for me…

Lady R © 2013

My Needle

I'm so sick of waking up in these cold sweats
Reaching out for my "needle" and its nowhere to be found
Pissed off I throw tantrums
Papers, cups, even my phone ends up on the floor..
My "needle" I need it...
I...I'm shaking
My hands are trembling...
My mind is racing
I need my "needle" its the only thing that calms me.
It takes me to a new level of euphoria
Relaxes my nerves into a state of tranquility with each letter written
Each phrase
Each lymric
Each lyric
I need my "needle"
My utensil
My ink in hand
So I can spread this drug to everyone
Yes especially the ones I love...
My addiction... My needle..
My pen

Lady R (c) 2013

Picture Perfect Imperfection

You know that person that you see? On the outside I may seem all together, worry and care free, but when I face the mirror I see all my insecurities.
That fragile like child
That innocence within.
That indecisive, sometimes naive human being.

The picture perfect imperfection
On the outside, I'm strong and fearless
My head held high
A confidence in my stride
But when the doors are shut
I shed my super woman layers
To unveil my vulnerability
That is me..

The picture perfect imperfection
On the outside, things may seem my life is peachy king
The brightest smile during a stormy weather
The strongest beam in a crumbling foundation
And when everyone's situation has gone back to a norm
Behind dark blinds
I fall to my knees
Shoulders bruised from all the burdens carried
Tears held back began flowing
Because my soul needs cleansing

Then when I'm done and I look at my reflection
I smile because I see..
A picture perfect imperfection that is me...

Lady R ©2013

Lovers and Friends

"Girl do you know what you just did?"
The floods of my mind opened and began to over flow.
Yes, I knew what I did and to tell you the truth I would do it again.
He laid there with his chest glistening from the sex sweat.
I laid there with my legs tingling and middle still wet.
I know we shouldn't have crossed that line
But tonight we had a little too much wine.
The music played a little to low.
We danced a little to close
His cologne was a little to intoxicating
My dress a little to short and revealing
The chemistry, there was no denying.

One minute we were just playing
The next minute his hands were on my waist
One minute we were 2 feet apart dancing
The next minute we 2 inches from each others face
One minute I'm looking at his lips
The next minute his lips are touching mine.
One minute I'm smelling the freshness of his breath
The next minute our tongues are intertwined

I'd be lying if I said we didn't get caught up in it.
The pure lust and excitement of it.
Something we both knew shouldn't have happened
And yet it did.
I would blame it on the alcohol
Or maybe just poor judgment.
The truth is though this is something that I've been wanting
From the aggressiveness that you showed, I cant tell you wanted it too
So I gave it to you.
All of me..
No holding back
I want to experience the ecstasy
I want to experience you experiencing me.

At that moment my soul was lit on fire
With every stroke you quenched my desire
Every moan like a melody
Every groan sounded in harmony
With eyes fluttering
Hands gripping the skin and sheets
Bodies moving to our own sensual beat
That in my head is on repeat.
As our orgasms are at its peak
Then we explode simultaneously
Crashing into each others arms exhaustedly.
You held me so lovingly.

"Girl, do you know what you just did?"
That questioned over again
Simply answered..
I made love to a man who became my lover and not just my friend.

Lady R © 2013

His Base Guitar

As he strums the strings on that base guitar
The rhythmic sounds move me.
I grab a hold of this mic and these words
flow through me, lyrically
Letting you get to know me
As I bare my soul poetically.

I'm a slave to this movement
Who am I kidding?
Unwilling to break from the words that hold me captive
They shackle my brain
Demand my obedience during the time the music plays
My body sways while my lips conjure phrase after phrase.

As he strums the strings on that base guitar
The rhythmic sounds move me.
Causing relaxation in my mind and body
Fighting with the good and evil within..
Hearing both the Angel and Devil whispering
While the melody is floating
Daring me to use my verbal weaponry for fun
My words the bullets
My lips the gun..
Aimed and fired at everyone.
Allowing me to speak fluently of the truths I see
Unable to break free from this harmony...
Controlled by this imaginary alphabet penitentiary

As he strums the strings on that base guitar for me.

Lady R © 2013

Set Me Free

Look at what America has done to me.
Shamed of the reflection in the mirror that I see.
Clouded my mind with such lies.
Broken my ability
Taken my strength
Reduced my pride
These tears I cry I can not hide
Not crying because of the pain
But because they stripped my heritage of its name
What it truly means to an African King
A Black man with a dream
Stolen...
Beaten...
Snatched from me...

Look at what America has done to me.
A shell of my former self
Made it okay to slay those who look like me
Lowered inhibitions by allowing the liquid courage
To be purchased at every corner I see...
Every McDonalds and Burger King within three feet
To downgrade
Downplay
And misuse my ebony queen
Not seen as what she use to
Because her honor is shredded by society
Stolen
Beaten
Snatched from me...

Look at what America has done to me.
My words hold no value because everything I seem to do
Goes against the rule..
"Well, he looked like trouble"
"He looked like you"
All I did was walk down the street with a Arizona and a bag of candy
I thought this was suppose to be the land of the equal, the land of the free.
I was proven wrong by the unfairness that I see.
The mistreated ways that I go through
And then I'm the bad guy when I catch an attitude.
I'm told to shut up when I speak my truths.
My rights..
Stolen...
Beaten...
Snatched from me...

Look at what America has done to me.
Caused me to be tongued tied
My children brainwashed by the media's fabrications
Our youths deprived of educations
When I stand up tall
My back is broken with ridiculous tea party laws
America... doesn't care as long as it gets it share
Who cares...
Eyes burning...
Vision blurred from the tears I tried to hold back
As this American noose tightens around my neck..
I apologize not to America...
But to the younger men I see
I wish there was something more I could be
I'm just another black man with a dream that was
Stolen...
Beaten...
Snatched from me...

Now pull the level and set me free...


Lady R © 2013