My Coin Flipper

15/31(3)
My Coin Flipper

The rain came down in trenches
Drenches not only his clothing
But the thoughts within
He watches me closely I can see him as he
Flips his coin in the air.
His empty eyes
His blank stares
Those glares..
Send chills down my skin
He follows me..
Watching me as I try and stray away
But it's like a scene from a movie
No matter how fast I run he's right behind me
Flipping his coin in the air
Every corner..
He's there
Every shelter
He's there..
Just flipping that coin in the air
I remember..
I was faced with a situation
And as soon as I was about to make my decision
A change came over me when I seen him watching
In the rain..
Flipping his coin in the air
His stare got to me
I could feel him watching me...
From a distance
I'll tell you about another instance
True it was probably going to be another bad decision
And as soon as I was standing right in front of it.
Like it was literally right there
In reach
Just in my grasp
And I felt his eyes burning a whole in my soul
Whatever, I was going to do left me just as quickly as it entered
I turned to see him
Flipping that coin in the air
That evening..
I went home
Removed my clothing..
And rinsed what I felt was the filth from the day..
As I did, I felt a burden being lifted
Like a new life had been given
And yes it was still raining.
After my shower I turned on the television
And the images before my eyes brought tears to my eyes
Those situation I was trying to place myself in
The people involved in it met an untimely demise
One person shot
Another one stabbed
And a car accident with no survivors
How I'm thankful
That his stares steered me home and out of the line of fire..
That night I went to bed..
And as I laid down my head..
I looked out the once more
To see that man
With wings expanded..
Flipping that coin in the air.

Lady R © 2013

These Thighs

These Thighs

I was told that I should apologize for these thighs. These chocolate covered, thick and fluffy thighs. These tattooed and enticing, make jeans look like they are painted on thighs. These thighs that jiggle just a little when I walk.

I was told that I should apologize for these eyes. These eyes that have stories that are untold. These eyes that if you stare long enough they can peer into your soul. These eyes that twinkle in the sun or the moonlight.

I was told that I should apologize for these lips and smile that can turn the worst day around. These lips and smile that can have a man travel for miles just to be in my presence. These lips that speak the truth and this smile that can hypnotize.

I was told that I should apologize for this mind. The one I use to make my own decisions. The one that enables me to be my own person and to use assertion to get my points across.

Why should I have to apologize for being the creation that God made me? Who said that everyone had to the same? So what if I’m not 5’10 weighing 110. I’m embracing my 5’4 and my and my juiciness galore. I implore thee to be who are made to be and not conform into what society deems you should be.

I will not apologize for the skin I’m in.

I will not apologize for these eyes.

I will not apologize for these lips and smile.

I will not apologize for this mind.

I will not apologize for these thighs.

Lady R © 2012

I Am This

I Am This

People seem to take me as a joke when I’m writing, but I get the last laugh when I’m chuckling on my way to bank from what the bleeding of my ink did. How candid can you be when you see me on the streets talking about “hey baby, I missed you.” And I’m like “Oh nigga now you know me?” Weren’t you the same one who told me that I wasn’t going to get anywhere because I didn’t have it lyrically? Well, I got news for you I got this shit poetically. It may not be to a beat that you can hear, but it flows to the beat of my heart and from the start I felt this. When I picked up the pen I melted into this, and sexed the words until I gave birth to this.

Let me break it down some more since I can tell in by the look in your face that you can’t understand what I’m going for. See these words aren’t just words that I am speaking. I cook this; I eat this, and then shit out something amazing. Smelling like tulips because roses are overrated and that last line you read again because it left you faded.

I do this because I am this. I was born with a pen in my hand and gifted with poetic expression from the lyrical Gods. I pour my blood, tears, and sweat into this. I build my mental to this. I strengthen my physical to this, and I let my spirit run all through this.

It’s funny how you didn’t believe in this and was so quick to dismiss my ability to handle this, but when you see me on your TV screen and hear my on your radio you’ll finally realize how I can control this dactylic flow, leaving your jaw dropped to the floor and you trying to kiss my ass as I sashay pass and once I’m at a distance I turn to you to blow you a kiss and leave you with the message; I do this, I’m true to this; this poetic lifestyle I AM THIS.

Lady R © 2012

Purple Haze

A reflection..
Our silhouette doing there own dance as the flickering
Of lavender scented candles fill the air
Purple lighting casting a glow on the honey colored skin
Sweet to the taste
In anticipation of being just as thick and sticky between the waist
So why wait?
Purple kisses landing on golden skin
Ingiting a passion within
Lustful imagination taking control
Royal sex scenes unfold
Yet behold..
You're holding back
Sitting there smoking the purple grape flavored black
Trying to act mild
While to porno wildchild inside is trying to break free
Don't believe me?
I can see everything
You're mouth says one thing
But your eyes tell a different story
One I'm ready to be lullabyed to.
So let's begin...
Purple wax dripping on my supple caramel skin
Moans of pain and pleasure take flight
Heigthened by the intensity of each love bite
Lips torturing my vulerable spot
Unprotected, I'm weakened
Sounding off as quietly as I can
But your lips on my flesh has me speaking differently..
Body overheating
Milky feeling of me melting
Creamy, golden, caramel of me
On you candle stick..
With a wick that never dulls
Purple intensity
Golden perplexity of each position explored
From the couch
Bed
Counter
Floor
Window
Hell even the door
Shiny yellow picture framed of the lavender lotus flower shattered
This bottle of glass bubbly spilled
But none of that matters
I'm focused on this passionate night
Bodies rocking as one
With the goal to get one...or two..or three..
Toes curling
Hair pulled
Nails digging in your back
Lips surrounding swollen breast
Hands leaving finger prints on my assests
As we rock..
Harder..
Faster..
Filling the room with sex and lavender
Getting high off our own purple haze
As our canvases exploded
Leaving purple and golden dust in the atmosphere
And we come down from our purple cloud
Letting our purple smoke clear the air.

Love Don't Live Here

The separation of truth.
The distance between me and you.
I see you..
The reflection of what is to be
I'm looking..
I see you..
So close yet so far away
So many words I have to say and those words I want to hear
But yet I fear I will never..Not from you
But...
I see you..
What's keeping you from me?
I mean really besides this fence what else could it be?
Come closer..
Don't you want to see me
Face to face?
Speaking in proximity of maybe 1 or 2 feet
I'm your counterpart
A mini me
A physical impression
I see you..
Looking and wondering
The appearance on my face hold so many questions
Like...
Why are you leaving?
When are coming back?
And you left them. unanswered
I see you..
I followed you down the street..
You kept a steady pace to get away from me
I reached for you..
You jerked away..
I called for you
You ignored me
I chased after you
While you ran from me..
I couldn't pursue you any longer
With the fence in front of me blocking my path
So I just looked at you
Your image fading..
As you leave me..

I see you..

New Life

There's nothing like new life.
Unexpected delight
Moments of nervousness
Smiles from within
A new mother hen..
Me..
Now how to explain this to the father
True enough I'm probably the same age as his daughter
An older gentlemen who swept me off my feet
Only to lead me on with lies and deceit...
A secret life he was having with me.
Wine and dined
Treated like I was his only
But left me some days feeling lonely.
Me.
On this evening I decided to share our good news
He looked at me crazy and I couldn't have this baby
Heart broken I became
Because he didn't want our child to have his last name.
Devastation set in as he told me he was a married man.
He already raised his kids
So what was I to do?
He gave me money to get rid of what was growing inside of
Me.
I couldn't believe, but I guess I should have guessed it.
No overnights
No real calls, just texts
Meeting you at different places
But none of them your home and I'm left feeling all alone.
Me.
Your answer was so definite.
There was no changing your mind
After I met up with you that day, you changed your phone line
Cut out all communication.
Like I never existed
A notch in you belt is how I'm being treated.
Me.
Forget all the time we spent together
The L word you used so frequently...
But now that I'm having your baby, there's no love for me?
I mean REALLY!?
You're no grown man, just a boy who aged too quickly.
I learned from a strong woman
That a man isn't needed, but wanted.
To teach a child both sides of life, but if I have a choice
I wouldn't want you around because you're so trif!
My focus now is me
And this new life growing inside of me.

Lady R © 2013

Last Laugh

They say a car is nothing but a dick on wheels
How he can strut it around and park it in any space at will
Gaping holes that allows ANY four wheels
Wearing a pair of heels..
Bends to your will..
Because you can't take a what a strong woman does for you.
Am I mad?
Should I be angry that you decided to move your parking spot?
I think not.
See the thing I've noticed about you
I've noticed all the lies..
How you can't look me in the eye
And you think I was going to make this easy on you?
You must be booboo the fool.
Going to try to replace me with the secretary
I got a little news for you..
The lady you so easily went to
I got the results from the clinic she sent you too
Being nosy I opened the letter
Busted out laughing at the answer
She got you..
Welcome your new buddy..
A new life long friend
Herpes, your friend til the end
Just like you..
This cars burning too.

Shooting Star

Shooting Star

Starlight, star bright, the first star he sees tonight. Wish he may wish he might, may he have this wish tonight? Teary eyes, streaked down cheeks body sore from where fist had me. Beaten, bruised, and physically scared; he peers out the window to see a shooting star.

Starlight, star bright; the first star she sees tonight. Wish she may, wish she might, may she have this wish tonight? Up under the covers curled into a ball and eyes shut so tight; praying that he passes out and forgets her tonight. Prayers go unanswered as she hears his feet at the door and it swings open hitting the wall. Clutching her blanket with all of her might as he rips it from her and another piece of her innocence that night. Then leaves her feeling so empty. She peers out the window to see a shooting star.

Starlight, star bright; the first star they see tonight. Wish they may wish they might, may they have this wish tonight? Destructive behavior with not a care in the world had this abused little boy and girl. No one to turn to, cries went unheard so they sought refuge in the dark underworld. Smoking and drinking was getting out of hand so they step up their habit to something a little harder to make their pain go away a little longer. Pill popping and shooting up were their drugs of choice and as the indulged they heard a little voice saying “please take this pain I do not wish to feel this another day.” They drank, smoked shot up something fierce. The popped pill after pill for a high that would not let them down. With the last swig of the drink, liquid in the needle, and pill in the bottle; they looked out the window to see a shooting star and made one last wish before it was all over.

Starlight, star bright; first star they see tonight. Wish they may, wish they might, may they have this wish tonight?

Lady R © 2012

Dreamlike State

This rain is beating down on my window
Pounding on my roof
And causing feelings that's leaving tingles
Of the warmth and moisture within..
In a lonely bed I lie
Arms stretched out to where you should be
But your side is empty..

Sighing deeply, inhaling your aroma that lingers on my sheets
Mind rushes back to what forbidden activity happened
And my body starts to sweat...
Wet..
Drenching..
Body perspiring
As my imagination is unraveling
The one on one of me and you...

I find myself...
reaching between my legs but I'm trying to fight the urge..
Trying to keep my love from coming down
Because I don't have your face to drown..
What a waste of succulent juices..
What you drink from me is able to
Satisfy the sweetest of a sweet tooth..
And quench the thirstiest of thirst.

This thunder is sounding
The lighting is striking..
This rain is beating down my window
Pounding on my roof..
Causing my body to react in unladylike tactics
And the fact is.. I've been craving it..
Since I can't have you
I think about in a dream like state..

I think about how you clean your plate
Licking your fingers
It's not polite to have your elbows on the table
But for this meal you are able to do as you please
As you have both of my knees pinned back.
My body shivers..
My toes curl..
My hair is matted to my face, every strand out of place

My breath is shallow
My temperature is rising
My legs are in a spasm
My body explodes...

This rain is beating down on my window..
Pounding on my roof..
Since I can't have you..
I think of you in a dreamlike state..
Where it's more pleasurable to be asleep than awake.

Caution

Our encounter should be taken with caution
Read the signs of my body...
First sign..
Take it slow..
Travel this curves with easy
Loiter on the crevasses so delicately
Use caution..
Read the next sign ahead
No speeding..
Procrastination is the key
Using your lips and fingers so intimately
Taking your time
My body will show the signs
Use caution
As my legs are wrapped around your face
Remember to use your breathing techniques
The only thing I want to see is your eyes looking
Up at me..
Read me...
Body starts jerking
Use caution..
Dangerous when wet as my I start to leak
When your tongue grazes my pearl repeatedly
These thighs tighten
But you..you use the jaws of life to keep them open
The look in your eyes
I can read the signs...
Man at work when you push my legs so far behind
And stroke
Jackhammer
Digging deep...
Use caution..
This dam is about to explode
While our bodies collide
Orgasm
Intensification
Body gone from solidification to liquified
Use caution
Read the signs
Breathing heavily..
Sweating..sticky..sensually

Exhausted..
Reading the signs of my body

Lady R © 2013

Network Famous

She take pics she knows they'll like..
He flashing cash we know he googled right?
Putting up false names and making false claims
And posting stats then getting upset when no one likes them right?
Trying to become network famous overnight

You in these groups talking about "oops" as your bent over
Facing the camera
Posting that picture on instagram for instaglam
Calling these men thirsty, when your dry persona
Is looking mighty ashy...
Claiming class, but posting trash...
Looking for that instant status...

He's on here claiming he's in a gang.
Bragging on chicks he said he's banged.
Saying he's rolling around on 22's
When he really got a bus pass that ends on the 30th of June
And every other status is about how he's about to get "high"
To make the time fly by...
Looking for instant status

She take pics she knows they'll like..
He flashing cash we know he googled right?
Putting up false names and making false claims
And posting stats then getting upset when no one likes them right?
Trying to become network famous overnight.

You crack on people who you say is "always online"
But how would you know? Oh.. it's because that light
Is always glowing by your name..
Those late night "just for fun" type pics
Girl don't sell yourself short, you got more going on than
What's under your shirt and skirt..
Looking for instant status...

Everything thing you may post is ratchet
Always negative
Hating on the next man or woman
Because they are doing something that you can't?
Looking for some likes on your comments
For someone to agree?
Looking for instant status

She take pics she knows they'll like..
He flashing cash we know he googled right?
Putting up false names and making false claims
And posting stats then getting upset when no one likes them right?
Trying to become network famous overnight.

See what you fail to realize that there is life on the outside
How about you try logging off
Getting fresh air or doing your job to the best of your ability
And stop worrying about what these people online are thinking..
I know people are going to get mad, but I'm just speaking the truth...
Instead of looking for instant status by posting your ASSets
Try sharing something that you will really be remembered for...
Let's break that chain and make a name other than becoming

Network famous overnight...

Lady R © 2013

Chocolately Kiss

Chocolatey Kisses

The sweetest thing I have ever tasted
Was the kiss I got from you..
The smoothness of your lips to mine
Is what my mind remembers.
The taste of you lips is what lingers
The chocolatey kisses.

I remember the sensual embrace
The eye contact
The face to face
Arms snugly wrapped around my waist
Fingers tracing my softness before
You touch them with yours once more
The chocolatey kisses

Instant flash backs
Deep breathing
Lustful moans
Sweetest of taste I have ever known.
I indulge in my sweet tooth every time I am with you
This sinful goodness I just can't control
The chocolatey kisses

I have to keep in mind
That you are a treat so sweet too much may be bad for me
But when I see you I'm like a kid in a candy store
All I want is more, more, more.
So to ensure I can continue to pamper myself
On the the dark chocolate creamy lips that you hold.
I'll melt you down and freeze you, and then remold
Those chocolatey kisses...

Lady R © 2013

Ebony Skin

You see me?
A Beautiful black queen.
Ebony skin that for years I thought that my color was a sin.
So I raised my head to heavens and I prayed.
Not with eyes closed, but with them open looking up to the sky
So I can look into the eyes of the most high.
My Father.
The one who blessed me with this smooth ebony skin that for years I thought was a sin.
So I prayed.
I asked him to explain why those not like me dislike me instead of seeing past my color and get to know a woman such as me, someone's child, someones sister, and one day will be someone's mother.
You see me?
On the outside I'm abused verbally.
Words hurled at me so viciously and cutting into me so deeply that I had to just lift my head and pray for those who can not comprehend that I am a divinely favored African American woman and no matter how much you may hate me;
I am so loved; especially by the one who created me in his image.
His ebony child.
Every night I pray thank him for blessing me to see another day knowing that at any moment this life could be taken away.
You see me?
I'm blessed to be able to enrich myself in a culture that makes me feel so alive.
To live in my ebony in skin that I use to think having for years was a sin. To indulge in my African American Ethnicity, acknowledge my history, and love every part of my ebony me.
So I pray
Being thankful for the ebony skin that I use to think having was a sin.

Lady R © 2013

Breathe Deep

I can't imagine a day without feeling you.
Your lips call my me without even moving and I gravitate
towards you as if I'm floating until I am face to face with you.
Deep breath..
Inhale..
Breathe deeply yet again.
Your intoxicating smell should be a sin and facing a battle with you
I know I would not win for I am weakened by the simplest of touch.
I admit it does not take much.

Deep Breath..
Inhale..
Breathe deeply yet again.
I know this might sound somewhat crazy, but the way you have me feeling
is like I'm under a spell. I'm memorized. I've been hypnotized.
The only difference is I remember everything we do.
The kiss is everlasting
The touch, I can feel your fingers lingering.
The smell of our sexy sensuality filled the room.

Deep Breath..
Inhale
Breathe deeply yet again
I'm hooked.
I'm captivated and every time I close my eyes the mirage of you comes
into view as I reach out to you so close but yet so far the feeling of going a day
without you becomes more of a reality than a dream and all I can do is take a

Deep Breath
Inhale
Breathe deeply yet again..
Because our secret meetings are a sin

Lady R © 2013

Freeze

Freeze. Let me remember you just the way you are.
As a star.
Shining the brightest in the night; lighting up the blackness of the sky.
Before these streets took over your heart.
Freeze. Let me picture as I use to.
I saw you as the happy-go-lucky.
Nothing ever seemed to bother you. You were the one who everyone else day.
Until the streets got a hold of you and turned you into someone unrecognizable.
Freeze. Let reminisce on how we use to do.
We'd hangout all times of the night not caring if we had to get up early, but surely that's when we use to fuss and fight because you wanted to sleep in after our long night. I miss those times.
Freeze. Let me dwell upon the good times we shared. The love that was and is still there. Even though these streets have taken the place of where I use to be and now I feel as if we; me is just a distant memory.
Freeze.
Those red and blue lights are swarming you.
Freeze.
Those policemen are yelling at you.
Freeze.
No don't run please! I'm watching and yelling.
Freeze.
Get down on your knees! They are steady aiming.
Freeze.
Drop your weapon!
Freeze.
Shots blaring out. I'm hearing nothing the sounds are deafening. I'm screaming but no one seems to hear me.
Freeze.
The entire scene I just witnessed. Tears streaming as I continue to see this.
Another life lost to these streets.
All you had to do.
Was just..
Freeze.

Lady R © 2013

That's Where The Horror Lies

Tuck me in nice and tight
Read me a bedtime story
Kiss this lil girl goodnight..
Check in the closet and under the bed for monsters..
That's where the horror lies

For years you muffled my cries
Either with a pillow or you hand
Telling me it's going to be alright
This was how it's suppose to be
This was how it showed that it loved me..

First it was just a few touches
Here and there...
Then the kisses began to get longer
On my child like lips..
It's hands rubbed over my lil girl hips.

It tell me shhh no crying.
Big girls don't tell.
So I wiped my tears away.
I was a big girl, at least that's what it told me
Then it continued to love on me....

Tuck me in nice and tight
Read me a bedtime story
Kiss this lil girl goodnight...
Check in the closet and under the bed for monsters
That's where the horror lies...

As I got older..
It became bolder..
I wasn't just a lil girl anymore
As I began to develop..
It's lust for me grew and so did those late night trips to my bedroom...

By this time you think I got use to it
I was numb because you told me it was love
But other people told me that this was the wrong kind of loving.
You told me not tell because no one would believe me.
It was this adult thing and me, I was just a mere baby...

So quietly.. you continued to love on me...
I withdrew from my friends at school..
I wasn't the happy go lucky girl I use to be...
Ever since it started to love on me...
My innocence was stolen from me..

I have no more tears to cry at night
But I'm tired.. so tired of its loving each night
I had to do something. I had to stand up and fight..
I told..
And I felt free..

When I came home and say they were taking it
Away from me.
In the back of a police car it stared at me..
In the window reflection I saw something so ugly..
Something I had feared for years..

It tucked me nice and tight..
It read me a bedtime story..
It kissed this lil girl goodnight
It checked in the closet and under my bed for monsters..
That's where the horror lies...

When I was looking at the monster in my fathers eyes...

Lady R © 2013

Womanizing Man

It's certain things about your character that I detest
and other things I find my self drawn to...
Like that song says "like a moth to a flame" but as I get close to the heat
and get hot in the seat..
I'm soon burned by the inferno that is you.
With the hot lips that spew lies so quick a tangle web weaved and I'm caught in the middle as you slink from the top with your eyes laid upon me,
ready to devour me with your words
Sinking me deeper into your world.

At one point I was so intrigued by you.
Your shyness was refreshing
your bluntness was welcoming
Then I started seeing the womanizing in you
You told me that you liked me, but I quickly noticed you liked her, her, and her too...
I guess you didn't think I was capable of seeing.
How transparent of you
Guess you were going to call me a groupie
I group with no one I'm an original

I find it amusing that since I don't stroke your ego
and agree with the foolery that you put yourself through
That you play on the weakness of the weak minded to
play the puppet master and pull the strings on.
Tell them that sad story of being lonely and listen to the
violins strings being plucked on.
Setting the trap of quick-sanded words so thick and deep
they can't get out of.

I'm glad I was one that didn't fall too deep in
Didn't catch my feelings in
A self centered...
Womanizing man..

Lady R © 2013

Man Eater

She's a man eater
Eye pleaser
Candy on his arm
Sweet and funny
Said to be his good luck charm
Thick in all the right places
Alluring with her curves
The way she looks at a man
Makes all the head swerve
Kinda of makes a man nervous to approach her
She has an enticing smile
Draws him in with a wink of her eye
As she waits at the bus stop when cars drive by.
She's a man eater
She a lil spoiled because she usually gets her way
Plays damsil in distress when its to hot or cold durning the day
The sway in her hips wins her shopping trips
The thick in her thighs has the guys open wide
But what they don't know
They are sure to learn
When your funds end
It's another mans turn
She's a man eater
Does she care that you break your neck
To stare even when your wife or girlfriend is standing there
No.. that's not her issue
As long as her fund her fun when its all said and done
She'll throw that nookie on you have you hooked
And boomeranging back
Her eating that sucker is just the way she lures her next victim
She's a man eater
Sweet on the outside
But selfish to the core
Understand she has a plan
Whether or not she has a man
She wants it all and even more
Her body is the ticket
Her mouth can cash it
Just becareful when you encounter it
She's a man eater

She'll eat you alive.

Lady R © 2013

I Pulled The Trigger

I pulled the Trigger

I would say I was surprised at what I did, but that would be a bold face lie.
As I stood there with the gun barrell smoking, lowered at my waist, I turned back and watched him die.
Yes the blood spatter landed on my Jimmy Choos, but did I care? No not really. In all honesty I wanted to shoot until my clip was empty.
Until the slient cries finally stopped, until his chest was left looking like baby swiss cheese, until his brain matter spelled out my name. Was I sorry? Nope, not even a little bit..
He truly had this coming, although I am not one to condone any type of violence, but this.. this right was justice...
Too long did I endure the type of life he was putting me through. A fleshy doormat was how he treated me bring different women in and out talking about he had company?!
Treating me like I was property and in my stupidity; thinking I could change a man like him..
That was my fault...
The day I decided to take back me was a day I would never forget..
I woke up thinking that this was it as I looked in the full length mirror at my bruised up body..
Face almost unrecognizable..
Too many times did I let his sweet talking get to me..
Forget all those "I'm sorry's"
Those pathetic excuses for apologies!
As soon as he got angry again he would start that beating on me
And would make it worse when I tried to flee.
The reasons I gave for staying...
Our babies were involved. For the most part I wanted my children to have a daddy
But what real man beats in woman in front of his kids?
And tells them "your mother deserves what I did?!"
No real man at all...
I stood there with the gun barrell smoking lowered at my waist
I looked my devil in his face. His eyes became glassy
His mouth spewed blood
He looked at me in agony.
Should I feel some sort of pity? I guess I should, but really my heart was empty..
Soul blacken and the spirit I had was crush and damaged.
What I did was not just for me but also my legacy.
Some may say I'm selfish to take to take away a father, but truthfully he was just a sperm donor. A child contributer nothing more, but way less.
I had others I had to care for I didn't want them to see what mommy had to endure.
I know they heard the screams at night. The concern on their faces told it all...
That was it for me..
That evening I took my babies to visit they grandma, I made plans for all three of us to get away. I purchased my weapon of choice and went to the last place I called home.. even though there was no love there.
I waited...
I waited for his drunken self to come through the door, to stumble in and start demanding things from me like he always did, but this time would be different.
I hid it..
He came in yelling and knocking things on the floor, ordering me to pick them up, just to do it again.
This time I refused and he got mad as sin
I became everything curse word under the sun..
And then he came after me.
I remember where I hid it..
This time.. this time I fought back. I wasn't going to just take his crap!
I was tired of it!
He got me with not one punch, not two, not three, but multiple, he grabbed me when I tried run and continued to brutalize me no matter how many blows I blocked.
I just had to get back to it...
I fought, I kicked, I screamed, but in this house there was no one to hear me. One more good kick and I was free..
I grabbed it just in time as he came rushing towards me
I aimed at him and he stopped instantly. He taunted me; saying "Bitch, you ain't going to do nothing!"

So I pulled the trigger...

Lady R © 2013

Family Prayer

The Father: Dear Lord it's been a hard year..But every day I say I am thankful I am grateful for the lessons learned. At every heart ache there is a positive turn..
I'm a praying man
I'm a family man..
With this prayer I say Amen
The Son: Dear Lord it's been a hard year..My parents fighting at every little thing and pretending that everything was okay..
I'd lay in bed at nights and wish the yelling and screaming would go away.
So every night I get on my knees and I pray..
I'm praying child
I'm this families child..
With this prayer I say Amen
The Holy Spirit: Dear Lord it's been a hard year. Although I am the glue that holds this family together I tend to get tired of the lies and the teary eyes..
I love this man and my son is my world
And I choose to continue to make this house A home..
So I get on my knees and I pray..
I'm a praying woman
This family is mine
With this prayer I say Amen..

Lady R © 2013

This Dress

I wear this dress to remember him...
In this dress was where I feel in love
We danced the night away at a ball
I had never been to one before
he showed me off, I was his trophy
He adored me..
I was his love..
I wear this dress to remember him..
I swear I can still smell the scent of him
The way he held me close
We swayed our bodies together
He was my coat on that cool summer night
I wear this dress to remember him
We took a stroll banks of the river
Noticing the moonlight on the water shiver
He kissed my lips as the wind blew gently...
How I love this man
I wear this dress to remember him..
The first time he told me he loved
I had this dress on.
He said he the color brought out my skin tone
And if we weren't alone, I wouldn't have this dress on long
He loved me in..
He lusted me even more
Needless to say our date was cut short..
He took me home and in the bedroom
Is where he smoothly removed the dress from me
It hit the floor, revealing my naked body
The rest.. A whirl wind
To mention the things we did would be a sin..
I wear this dress to remember
All the good times and even a few tears
It reminds me of him..
I wear this dress.. it was his favorite color..
At his bedside where the sickness was taking over
I laid next to my lover..
Held his hand and played our favorite song
Hummed it in his ear as it played low on the stereo
Tears streamed my face and landed on his..
How I love this man..
He cried with me
Gripped my fingers
Leaned up to kiss my worries away
His chest rose and fell..
His last words "I love you my bell"
And he was gone...
I stroll on the river bank and I think of him
I have dinner at our restaurant and order our favorite meal
I hold this dress up to me, close my eyes, and I can see him
I put this dress on..
To remember him.

Lady R © 2013

Death of my History

It's no mystery
I at a young age I've seen everything
Brutal beatings
People hanging
Fires catching blaze
Churches..houses..
Young children watching
I seen all these through these eye
Death of my history
My culture genocide
Forced families to run and hide
All because of foolish pride..
I cried..
They died over stupid lies
Who was to believe what my ancestry
Death of my history...
We ran
Too many of them had noose ready
Instead of trying to understand us
They wanted to get rid of us
Truth is because they were afraid of us...
There cure of our cultural disease
To elminate
Exterminate
What they feared
Torture and belittlement
Dragging across the ground
Danging from tree limbs as they all crowded around
Pointing and cheering
As feet kicked and blood spit from our lips
They roared..
They laughed..
Pictures were taken not to be mistaken for remorse no...
To remember...
The smell of burnt flesh was like waking up to coffee
In there cup..
Chard bodies piled up
Graves go unmarked..
My face in utter shock as I watch...
Mouth dropped and screams heard on the inside
Forced down because I was told to be quiet and hide
I lived today in order to relay the horror scene
I witnessed..
I seen..
So much through these eyes...
The death of my history...

Lady R © 2013

My Secret

The biggest eyes tell the deepest stories
The smallest mouths keep the biggest secrets
I have a secret to tell.
I was told not to say anything
Especially since no one would believe me..
Why? Because I'm just a kid.
It happens daily and each time
I'm told to stop that crying and wipe my eyes
In due time I'll learn to love as much as you do
But it hurts so much..
I have to keep silent..
When its all over a kiss on the cheek
And you saying you'll see me next me when you come for a visit
A reminder, to keep our secret
Another week goes by
I'm still in pain..
I don't want anyone touching me
No hugs
No playing
Just to be left alone
When I'm other places, I just want to go home
Sit in a corner and think of what I did
Only reason this could be happening is because
I'm a bad kid...
This is my punishment..
I guess I deserve it.
Although I have no clue what I did..but it must have been something
It's that time again..
The visit..
I wish I could refuse it..
But I can't
Another day of innocence stripped away..
I know this isn't right
And I want to tell the world..
But it's said to be a secret no one would believe it..
Not coming from a lil girl
So I keep it to myself
Put it on the shelf
And withdraw from the crowd a little more..
Until then just read the signs..
Look into my eyes
I have a secret to tell...

Can I tell you?

Lady R © 2013

Replacement

I woke up so weary..
Body tired..
My racing..
Wondering "where is he"
It's 3:00 in the morning
He's not answering his phone..
And finally when I get an answer, it goes to
The dial tone...
What's going on..
I woke up so weary..
Body tired
Mind racing..
Thinking he's sleeping around on me
He came in at 6:00 this morning
Smelling of another woman's perfume
So I just presume that his dick smells like
Lady parts too since he hopped in the shower
As soon as he hit the door.
I followed him wanting answers..
To none was satisfying because I knew he was lying
I went back to bed
So much on my head
I woke up so weary..
Body tired..
Mind racing..
Heavy heart..shattered spirit..
Soul searching I must go
I picked up my bible and began my journey..
Discovering losing myself in flesh wasn't for me..
At 7:00 in the morning
I got breakfast ready
And waited for you to come downstairs
Groggy and happy that I wasn't fussing or fighting
You sat down to enjoy your meal..
I went back upstairs and packed all your ish
Threw it in a suitcase with bleach, ammonia, and some other ish..
I got tired of being tired
Got tired of being weary
As I continued.. I heard foot steps speeding down the hall
To see you running to the bathroom
After the food you just consumed
Filled with a laxative
I laughed at it as you moaned and groaned
Couldn't figure out if you were to sit on hug the throne.
By the time you had completed the sickness I placed upon you
All you ish and a cab was waiting for you out by the door..
What about the car?
Forget that. That's something I paid for.
I'm tired of waking up so weary..
Of my body being so tired..
Of my mind racing..
So to get rid of these symptoms
It's you I'm replacing.

Lady R © 2013

Blue Base Guitar

I met this man playing a blue base guitar..
He wa sitting on the stool in front of this little Jazz bar
I inquired as to why he was outside poluting the air with such beauty
He told me "little sister, this is my public duty"
I smile as I listened to him tell his story.
He didn't sing to the song he played
Just said "listen to the base"
So I did and the words that I invisioned as the strings were hit...
When the tone dropped I heard the story of sadness
Like he went through a heart break and hadn't gotten over it.
He looked at me as he plucked the cords
A lostness in his eyes...
When the tone increased, more of an upbeat I felt the next part of his story
It was like something happened to him that made him happy
The quickness of the stringing made me want to dance
Then he slowed it down a little getting real fancy
Something like romantic..this was the part where I could tell it was about love
Ting, ting, ting.. listen to those strings
He switched the beat up once more..
Kind of made it sensual..
The kind of beat that makes your body move slow
This was about love making..
How it went from slow, to speeding up the tempo
Like he was going to the motion of the heartbeat; playing the base so steady
I met this man playing a blue base
He sat on a stool in front of this little Jazz bar
He strummed his story for me
It was about....
Heat ache
Love
Happiness
Sensual love making
Poetic story.. musically.. no words spoken
Just listened to him play..
Ting, ting, ting...went those string on his blue base guitar

Lady R © 2013

Hood Moments

I can remember sitting on the block stoop
Chilling.. watching all the lil chilren' playing
Hop Scotch and double dutch..
While he sitting getting his hair twisted.
Music blasting from old skools riding by

Hood Moments

I can remember walking down the corner store
for bags of penny candy, honey buns, and huggy juice..
only $.75 spent.. nowadays these stores want your right hand!
Before you could just go in and be greeting by the local store owner
Not having to worry about you being monitored..
It wasn't those type of times.

Hood Moments..

Not all moments were good moments
The good got a bad reputation..
Drug dealing..
People ending up missing
And drive by's during the day
Making it unsafe for the chilren' to play..

Hood Moments

Police doing their "normal" beat
Block boys running like roaches
When those lights hit the street
Females trying to make an "Honest" living
By selling or giving away what they mama gave them..
"Get it how you live" is what I always heard..
Man my hood...

Hood Moments

When yo folks end up on the busted magazine
Hood moments...
Getting approached by dope fiend named Daphine
Hood moments..
You know you better have yo butt in the house before those street lights come on
Hood moments..
Fire hydrogen open and the chilren' playing
Hood moments..
Block parties and everyone's invited..claiming family members and nobody's related

Yea.. hood moments.. although faced with the good and the bad..
Hood moments were the best to be had..

Lady R © 2013

Black Panties

Black Panties

The evening was young. I checked my clock on the wall and the time read 8:15pm. I felt going on the prowl. I hopped in the shower, put the temperature on hot and steamed up the area. You could see it coming from underneath the door. Once the water hit me, I was feeling sexy. I lathered up with my Olay cocoa butter scented soap and body wash. After half an hour I stepped out and dried my body.
I looked in the mirror at my nakedness and constructed the perfect outfit.
My choice tonight was black leather heels; yes they are thigh highs. No bra, my breast sit up just nice without it, and the black panties. Yes the black panties.
I sprayed my favorite Gucci perfume then grabbed my trench coat and keys. I know you're thinking, "Dang that's all she's wearing?" Simply answer is yes. I told you I'm on the prowl tonight. I have a victim in mind and tonight I'm going to make him mine.

I click clacked down the pavement to my ride. Hit the button for the automatic start, opening the door and letting my chocolate melt into the leather seats. Putting the radio on blast I went cruising to my destination. Nothing on my mind tonight but him tonight. I picked up my phone and dialed his number. On the third ring his baritone voice came through the phone.

"Hello?" He says.
"Don't say anything just listen. I'm wearing your favorite thing, and I smell so enticing. I'll see you in a few minutes, so be ready.

I hung up the phone and tossed it on the seat next to me. Merging to the right I got off on the exit in front of me. I was almost there. I licked my lips as my destination approached, and the anticipation grew. Tonight I was going to have you. I was going to have your lips against mine, both sets was my goal. Chest to chest at its best. Grinding as I felt the rising of your manhood, that evening wood. My body started twitching.

Before I knew it I was at his front door. I don't even remember walking or pushing the bell or lightly tapping on the window. All I had on my mind was our bodies intertwined, your tongue dancing with mine. Hands squeezing my behind. Legs wrapped around your waist as you carried me inside. To the couch is where we landed as we kissed endlessly. I felt your fingers all over me. Breaking the moments of sensuality I backed away slowly to show you a lil sum'thin sum'thin.
I untied the belt on the coat and dropped it to the floor. Baring my creamy skin that glistened in the moonlight, these D's sitting up right, thigh high heels, that get you standing at attention, and lets not forget to mention these black panties.

That was it. You were at me. Kissing, licking, biting on me, and me enjoying. Moaning, groaning, and you pumping; humping, grunting, sweating. Us dancing vertically. Reversing, cowgirl'n giddy up baby. I'm saddled up and ready, rock a bye send me to ecstasy. Tonight I've had you as you make me scream, cream, and want to curl up and go to dream land, but here and now I really can't in reality you're not my man.

So while you're sleeping I'm tiptoeing out the front door, I know she'll be home soon and she's probably been missing, but don't worry I'll leave you a souvenir. The black panties you held so dear.

Lady R © 2013

My First Dance

My First Dance

I remember my mama did hair
In my natural state and decorated it with a red flower
She dressed me white dress and matching shoes
In the background played our favorite tunes.
She hummed the music and so I did too
And then he walked in. Humming the song too.
His smile lit up my life
His presence made everything in my world alright
I felt absolutely safe with he was around
He made me laugh
Wiped my tears
Scared the boogieman and eased my fears.
To the song we all hummed along to.
He had just got off work and said he'd be right back
My mama continued to tease my hair.
Moments later he came back downstairs..
In a nice blue shirt
I could see the twinkle in his eye
When he looked my way I saw the reflection of me
I smiled instantly.

The music played

Mama just finished my and told me go freshen up
I ran into the bathroom and did what I was told

The music played

I ran back into the living room to see mama and him dance
He held her close
She smiled and laughed
He followed suit..
The love they had I felt too..

The music played

It was my turn and he took my hand
And said "Can I have this dance"
He twirled me
And held me close as our song played
Mama took pictures to capture this moment
One of the best times spent

The music played
I lived in it.
The music played
We danced to it.
The music played
He loved me endless

The music ended..
He gave me a kiss on the cheek
"I love you babygirl." is what he told me
My reply, "I love you too daddy."

I will always remember my first dance.

Lady R © 2013

Protector

We fuss, we fight, but in the midst of it all
He's our protector at night
He has his issues as well as I do too..
But he always seems to put his children before anything
That's why we stand stand strong
I may nag him
I may get on his nerves
But this is his home
His throne
No other family would come first
We struggle
We succeed
Together we achieve
He lets no harm come to us
Our knight in shining armor
A lover
A husband
And a father
He is our shelter from storming weather
Our comfort blanket
His families heart beat as one...
Without him there is no me
Without us there is no family.
He's our protector
He's our provider
And so much more
I thank GOD for creating him for me
And for us creating our babies
For this I pray...
I say Amen.

Sweet Revenge

I remember him.. He use to tease the hell out of me in high school." said to herself as she sipped her drink. She recognized the gentlemen caller at the end of the bar as Rex, the guy who made growing up for her a living hell. So bad she had to switch schools. Rex would go out his way to embarrass Giovanni, even as far as to ask her out and then dump her on the most important night of her life..Prom.As Giovanni ordered her second drink of the night, she noticed Rex making "googly" eyes at her. Maybe it was the drinks talking but something evil started coursing through her veins. She made eye contact with him and decided tonight would be a night he would never forget, because it would be his last."Bartender, send that gentlemen another drink on me." Giovanni ordered."Yes ma'am." He replied.The bartender made his way down to Rex, after a few moments Rex looked over at Giovanni, smiled, and down his beverage in one gulp. Rex then made his way to where Giovanni was sitting."And it begins." She thought to herself."So, what's up darling." Rex said as he slide onto the stool next to her."Nothing, sir. I just wanted to send you a drink since we have been making eyes contact most of this fine evening."Giovanni took a shot of her tequila and sucked her lime." Giovanni sucked the lime a little harder, making smacking noises. Only to entice Rex's sexual appetite. She could tell it was working because Rex was biting his bottom lip."Something on your mind?" Giovanni asked."It's a few things on my mind." Rex admitted."Oh really, well lets go somewhere and you can tell me all about it." Giovanni finished her drink, slide off the stool, and grabbed Rex's hand. The two then made their way to the back of the bar where the restrooms were.Giovanni knocked on the door to make sure no one was inside. She then pulled Rex in behind her, she locked the door."So, you were saying." Giovanni said as she started unbuttoning her shirt. Rex followed suit and unbuckled his pants. Before he could get them down enough, Giovanni was all over him, kissing his neck, reaching in his pants, stroking his dick. All Rex could do was let her and let out whimpers of pleasure."I see you like that huh?" She asked between kisses. Rex nodded his head."You know, I would have liked all this too back in the day." She sucked his neck a little harder."Huh, what do you mean?" Rex asked. His hands all over Giovanni at this point."You really don't remember me do you?" She whispered in his ear." Rex looked at Giovanni one good time, but still didn't recognize who she was."It's okay," She said, "By the time we're done, you won't need to remember."Rex couldn't understand what Giovanni meant, but this moment his dick was too hard to even think straight to ask questions."Shhhh, don't worry your head about, just enjoy the best night of your life." Giovanni bit down on Rex's neck hard enough for him to yelp."Damn, not so hard!" He scolded."Shutup!" Giovanni yelled back. Rex's face twisted up as he began to get pissed off. He pushed back a little, but she was stronger than she looked.With a swift movement of her hand, Giovanni made a swift move across Rex's neck from ear to ear. Before Rex knew what was going on his throat started spewing blood; soaking his sweat shirt. He coughed and spitted blood from his mouth and throat. He tried to speak but it was nothing but gurgling sounds. Giovanni smiled in delight as she watched the life from Rex slip out of grasp.Rex stumbled backwards, looking at Giovanni with "why would you do this to me" in his eyes. She sensed he wanted an answer, so she gave him one. Giovanni walked over to Rex as he began taking his last breaths."Well I guess I should tell you, I'm the girl you use to pick on constantly back in high school, you embarrassed me for the last time. So take your last breath and say goodbye." With his final inhale and exhale, Rex's eyes rolled in the back of his head and his body slumped.Satisfied with her work, Giovanni smiled and decided to capture this moment with a self proclaimed bathroom pic, after she sighed her work with "Hatter Strikes again.What sweet revenge."

Lady R © 2013

One Night Stand

I woke up with body slightly sore
Thighs tingling from last nights adventures
I scanned the room and seen my bra on the floor
My pants by the door and shirt somewhere in the corner
I looked at my reflection in the mirror
Hair all over my head, a style I'm sure I won't be able to redo...
I woke up with body slightly sore
Every step I took gave me the ohh ahh feeling
Even when peeing my vagina begins twitching...
And as I'm handling my business my mind goes to wondering
Who left me with this feeling?
No real clues to who got the cookie..
I do remember I was vibing with this one cat
While the beat was dropping low
Base took over my body and I grinded on him slow
A drink turned into one too many..
I remember stumbling up the stairs
Hands all over my.. well that's not important..
Got to door and as soon as it clicked the clothes..
They came off instantly..
I remember his shining jewelry
His lips so juicy
His scent was really doing it to me..
Taking a survey of my surroundings its a whole lot of ish on the floor
Knocked over picture...
Broken glass
I even seen a print of my ass left on window!
What a night...
I went back to the bedroom and decided to get back in
On my night stand I found a note addressed
"Hey Pretty Lady"
Thanks for the evening and the things you did to me
I won't forget you..
But I got a family to get home to..
Sincerely, the imaginary man...

And then it dawned on me..
Damn I just been hit by a one night stand...

Lady R © 2013

Listen Here

Listen Here

Check this out pooh, yes that's what people still call youI have some advice for you..I know you're looking at meWith giant eyes and confused as to ""who am I?"I got a few things to tell you...
Listen here
You're a creative person.
Don't let others dim your shineYou're going to have people saying that somethings
Aren't good enough
Don't get down or sad, this is where you toughen up!
Check this out..You are the sensitive type..You're heart is as big as all outside
But you being naive can cause you some sorrow
I'm not going to tell you to stay away from it, because
It's going to mold you into the woman you are suppose to be.
Listen here..
I know you have some fears just like the we all do
But you conquer them head on
Because that's the strong side of you..The side that don't like people telling you that there is
Something that you CAN'T do.Check it...You and mama will have some issues..Even as a grown woman it's a baby
She still sees you..
But that's mom and you got to love her..You got sisters, keep in touch with them
Nieces and nephews tooYou need all of them just as much as they need you!
Family is important to you...This you'll grow to know..One thing I do wish you to do is say good-byeTo the elder ones..You're a loner.. And trust that's a good thingBecause men out here will really JACKUP your feelingsI'll tell you being in love is an WONDERFUL thingBut being broken hearted is devastating, but again..It makes you the woman you'll grow to be..Listen here...Don't let these fools out here take your kindness for a weakness
Just because you're a sweet person
Don't mean you should get walked on..Men come a dime a dozen
And you get enough dollars to make change!
They have no future with you..It's a blessing they even got to know your name!Check this out...I'm not going to keep drawing this out..I just wanted to tell you..It's a lot that you will go throughBut its not all in vainIt all teaches you to be the woman you're suppose to beIt taught you to be ME..

Lady R © 2013

What it feels like

What It Feels Like

I want to feel what it's like to be held by you
have your arms cloked around me and I disappear
Like a vanishing act
Your the magician
Hocus pocus my heart in your hands
Left in a trance and the snap of your fingers
I come to..
I want to feel what its like to be kissed by you...
Swept off my lip in an enternal lip lock
Tongue wrestle
While your hands explore my canvas..
My body
I want to feel what it's like to have that instant connection
Electrify
Intensify
Be on a natural high when I'm around you..
And when we meet sexually
To be cast away in a sea of love making
Waves of perspiration surrounding me
My ocean crashing against your walls...
We rising to our highest peaks...
I..I
Want to know..
What it feels like...

Lady R © 2013