I Pulled The Trigger

I pulled the Trigger

I would say I was surprised at what I did, but that would be a bold face lie.
As I stood there with the gun barrell smoking, lowered at my waist, I turned back and watched him die.
Yes the blood spatter landed on my Jimmy Choos, but did I care? No not really. In all honesty I wanted to shoot until my clip was empty.
Until the slient cries finally stopped, until his chest was left looking like baby swiss cheese, until his brain matter spelled out my name. Was I sorry? Nope, not even a little bit..
He truly had this coming, although I am not one to condone any type of violence, but this.. this right was justice...
Too long did I endure the type of life he was putting me through. A fleshy doormat was how he treated me bring different women in and out talking about he had company?!
Treating me like I was property and in my stupidity; thinking I could change a man like him..
That was my fault...
The day I decided to take back me was a day I would never forget..
I woke up thinking that this was it as I looked in the full length mirror at my bruised up body..
Face almost unrecognizable..
Too many times did I let his sweet talking get to me..
Forget all those "I'm sorry's"
Those pathetic excuses for apologies!
As soon as he got angry again he would start that beating on me
And would make it worse when I tried to flee.
The reasons I gave for staying...
Our babies were involved. For the most part I wanted my children to have a daddy
But what real man beats in woman in front of his kids?
And tells them "your mother deserves what I did?!"
No real man at all...
I stood there with the gun barrell smoking lowered at my waist
I looked my devil in his face. His eyes became glassy
His mouth spewed blood
He looked at me in agony.
Should I feel some sort of pity? I guess I should, but really my heart was empty..
Soul blacken and the spirit I had was crush and damaged.
What I did was not just for me but also my legacy.
Some may say I'm selfish to take to take away a father, but truthfully he was just a sperm donor. A child contributer nothing more, but way less.
I had others I had to care for I didn't want them to see what mommy had to endure.
I know they heard the screams at night. The concern on their faces told it all...
That was it for me..
That evening I took my babies to visit they grandma, I made plans for all three of us to get away. I purchased my weapon of choice and went to the last place I called home.. even though there was no love there.
I waited...
I waited for his drunken self to come through the door, to stumble in and start demanding things from me like he always did, but this time would be different.
I hid it..
He came in yelling and knocking things on the floor, ordering me to pick them up, just to do it again.
This time I refused and he got mad as sin
I became everything curse word under the sun..
And then he came after me.
I remember where I hid it..
This time.. this time I fought back. I wasn't going to just take his crap!
I was tired of it!
He got me with not one punch, not two, not three, but multiple, he grabbed me when I tried run and continued to brutalize me no matter how many blows I blocked.
I just had to get back to it...
I fought, I kicked, I screamed, but in this house there was no one to hear me. One more good kick and I was free..
I grabbed it just in time as he came rushing towards me
I aimed at him and he stopped instantly. He taunted me; saying "Bitch, you ain't going to do nothing!"

So I pulled the trigger...

Lady R © 2013